I still feel that the opening section needs to be more tightly edited to the rhythm of the song (in this case the guitar line); it just seems slightly off to me. The performance bits with Ben are okay, but the synch seems just slightly off to me - it might be the render, however. Certainly the guitar strumming is not in time...! The structure is better - the performance elements in themselves fit well. You still need to get rid of Elleah as the drug dealer, though...!More to follow...
The jump-cuts before the second flash-back are slightly off - they need to be in time with the rhythm of the song. It's the performance stuff which is bringing the mark down - there are some really effective bits, and the ECUs are great, but it's out of synch and some of the movement is jerky. This is something a moderator will pick up; certainly it will keep it out of L4. The editing on the middle 8 is still too slow, considering the pace of the guitar - I think this could be a lot faster in terms of editing. The narrative section as it is is fine, apart from perhaps some slight tweaks in editing. My best advice with the performance is to refilm it and get Ben to rehearse - the miming and the guitar playing need to be in synch - or if you can't refilm, see if you can get the synch tighter (might need to do some judicious editing...)
I still feel that the opening section needs to be more tightly edited to the rhythm of the song (in this case the guitar line); it just seems slightly off to me. The performance bits with Ben are okay, but the synch seems just slightly off to me - it might be the render, however. Certainly the guitar strumming is not in time...!
ReplyDeleteThe structure is better - the performance elements in themselves fit well. You still need to get rid of Elleah as the drug dealer, though...!More to follow...
The jump-cuts before the second flash-back are slightly off - they need to be in time with the rhythm of the song.
ReplyDeleteIt's the performance stuff which is bringing the mark down - there are some really effective bits, and the ECUs are great, but it's out of synch and some of the movement is jerky. This is something a moderator will pick up; certainly it will keep it out of L4. The editing on the middle 8 is still too slow, considering the pace of the guitar - I think this could be a lot faster in terms of editing.
The narrative section as it is is fine, apart from perhaps some slight tweaks in editing. My best advice with the performance is to refilm it and get Ben to rehearse - the miming and the guitar playing need to be in synch - or if you can't refilm, see if you can get the synch tighter (might need to do some judicious editing...)