First thought is that I would have the video in black and white - the tone is quite grim and this would reflect it
I'm not keen on the camera-movement in your first shot - this looks a little jerky and could probably do with being smoother. Also, I think it's held a little too long - you could do with thinking about how you want the opening to grip your audience (as well as being a little more creative with your use of the camera)
00:11 - the edit here doesn't work because of the continuity, both in terms of the light (it's brighter in the second shot) and the fact that Ben has not opened the can in the previous shot. The implication of the straight cut is that the two shots are sequential
00:15 - this shot, with the phone, suggests that you are going for a montage, but you need some more shots of other aspects of Ben's character's experience here to sell this. The editing obviously also needs to be a little tighter, as you probably know
00:29 - not keen on the additive dissolve here; would a cross-fade be better? However, I can see what you're trying to do with the idea of memory - maybe play about with the effect a bit?
00:32 - the memory sequence is a little unambitious in terms of content - 2 long shots? - do you have more you could edit together? The range of shots is a little pedestrian, I would say - you could do a lot with cutting between CUs of their faces, for example
00:45 - I like the editing to the rhythm here - I would make more of this (range of shots, more consistent hitting the beat etc.)
At the moment, this is fairly low-key stuff considering your ability, although it's a useful foundation to build on. I would re-shoot these two sequences to achieve more continuity and more creative use of your characters (particularly the memory sequence)
The performance section is going to be key to this - you will need to edit creatively and effectively to achieve the effects you want. How are you going to seed this in with your narrative
Although it's obviously impossible to give a clear judgement based on 45 seconds of footage, if the rest of the material was of this standard, it would be hard to give a mark beyond high level 2 (effectively, similar to Amy Washbourne last year, although hers was brought down by the quality of her performance footage as much as anything)
First thought is that I would have the video in black and white - the tone is quite grim and this would reflect it
ReplyDeleteI'm not keen on the camera-movement in your first shot - this looks a little jerky and could probably do with being smoother. Also, I think it's held a little too long - you could do with thinking about how you want the opening to grip your audience (as well as being a little more creative with your use of the camera)
00:11 - the edit here doesn't work because of the continuity, both in terms of the light (it's brighter in the second shot) and the fact that Ben has not opened the can in the previous shot. The implication of the straight cut is that the two shots are sequential
00:15 - this shot, with the phone, suggests that you are going for a montage, but you need some more shots of other aspects of Ben's character's experience here to sell this. The editing obviously also needs to be a little tighter, as you probably know
00:29 - not keen on the additive dissolve here; would a cross-fade be better? However, I can see what you're trying to do with the idea of memory - maybe play about with the effect a bit?
00:32 - the memory sequence is a little unambitious in terms of content - 2 long shots? - do you have more you could edit together? The range of shots is a little pedestrian, I would say - you could do a lot with cutting between CUs of their faces, for example
00:45 - I like the editing to the rhythm here - I would make more of this (range of shots, more consistent hitting the beat etc.)
At the moment, this is fairly low-key stuff considering your ability, although it's a useful foundation to build on. I would re-shoot these two sequences to achieve more continuity and more creative use of your characters (particularly the memory sequence)
The performance section is going to be key to this - you will need to edit creatively and effectively to achieve the effects you want. How are you going to seed this in with your narrative
Although it's obviously impossible to give a clear judgement based on 45 seconds of footage, if the rest of the material was of this standard, it would be hard to give a mark beyond high level 2 (effectively, similar to Amy Washbourne last year, although hers was brought down by the quality of her performance footage as much as anything)